Have Confidence, Be Confident.
Being confident is one of the most prized qualities a person can have and it is impossible to imagine success in today’s world without a certain amount of confidence. While for some people being confident is like a gift received at birth, others struggle their entire life to get, maintain, and exercise confidence. We will try to explore the invisible mechanism behind confidence and try to extract some useful advice for those struggling in its absence.
Confidence is directly linked with self-esteem, the image which is returned by the mirror you take everywhere with you. Personal validation originates from multiple levels, but probably the most important one is the compatibility between intention and action. If your dreams match the reality of your life at least in general lives, self-esteem has a domain to exist and consolidate. When discussing about things you can’t simply change, like the color of your skin or your height, self-esteem derives from the ability to settle for what you have and achieve a peace of mind. From time to time, comparison with others is useful for assessing how much you climbed or how much you still have to climb. Constant comparison on the other hand, usually leads to low levels of self-esteem, and therefore a limited confidence.
Confidence can be boosted by acknowledging the fact that life is a struggle on a daily basis and that good things require a lot of effort. Mental hygiene, in terms of eliminating negative thoughts from the mind, is a habit most people ignore altogether, and confidence is often seeked in the wrong direction, from the outside. It is true that the clothes we wear, and in larger lines, the statute we display, can boost or lower confidence, but in most of the cases, this is only one aspect of the problem. The exterior shell of confidence should garnish a deeper, more complex, inner spiritual and mental confidence.
Confidence is often portrayed in a wrong and diminutive way. You do something great, and confidence is there to grab and forever remain in your hands. The reality is a completely different one. Confidence needs to be seen as a process, as a conglomerate of small, routine actions, which all point in the same direction. Confidence has its own mass and is “influenced” by gravity in a certain way. You have to fear and fight the fall, which is imminent every step of the way. Confidence does not guarantee immunity against the feeling of personal struggle and needs to be permanently improved and fine-tuned to correspond to the latest requirements formulated by the self and by the context.
There are many attempts to define confidence using words which have a more clear meaning. Some people see confidence as the transition domain between faith and competence, mostly because confidence allows the individual to extend its reach beyond what is already proven possible. Confidence allows people to dream, hope, and embrace life with all that it has to offer.
It is often the case that the simple gestures from our daily life are the ones enforcing confidence. There is nothing like a cup of coffee in the morning to remind us that the sun always rises. A friend patting you on the back or a stranger smiling at you can act as the supreme confidence boosters when battling with inner or outer demons. In the same direction, receiving exterior validation from the social circles you belong to confirms that you are doing things right, and that you are on track for success and satisfaction.
It is without doubt that a happy and successful life relies on a minimum dose of confidence. However good is the individual at “doing its homework”, life is often giving tests which go “beyond the curriculum”. Knowledge, skills, and the usual set of emotions can bring a good mark, but adding confidence can unlock an extraordinary amount of hidden potential. Confidence entitles the individual to dare take the unbeaten road, limit the fear of walking in the dark of limited knowledge and understanding, and keep the light at the end of the tunnel in sight when current circumstances seem to host adversity.