“You are NOT the average 5 people you spend the most time with.”

So as the saying goes, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

Most people have heard of this phrase before and it can be very true for some people.


What if this phrase is only partially correct? You might be thinking how is it only partially correct? Well let me explain. What if it is only right if the 5 people you spend the most time with simultaneously are the 5 people who you allow to influence you the most.

The phrase, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with,” is very general, generic, and possibly not completely true.

“You are the average of the 5 people whom you allow to influence you the most.”

This is an updated version. Now that old phrase will still stand 100% true if you allow the 5 closest people to you, to influence you more than any other human being.

If you think about people who got out of horrible situations because they did NOT allow those people nearest them to influence them the most. I remember when I read the book, “50th Law,” by Robert Greene & 50 Cent. In this book 50 Cent elaborates on his story, getting out of his dangerous lifestyle & neighborhood to pursue more ambitious goals and overall a better life. If 50 Cent took the phrase “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with,” to heart & wrote if off as a fact then he might not ever of achieved the heights of success that he did. If he allowed his environment & peers from that dangerous neighborhood & lifestyle to influence him the most, then he probably would of kept doing the same thing without change.

You can be surrounded by negative leeches (negative people), however remember that you always have a choice. A choice of perspective, and you can CHOOSE who you allow to influence you. So if those negative leeches are pulling you down, choose to perceive there negativity as their suffering, NOT yours. Choose to distance yourself from those negative leeches as best as you can. Then you might feel, okay TridentLion that’s great and all but how can I find and/or obtain positive & effective influence?

The answer:

Find mentors. Virtual mentors if anything.

In todays world the access to virtual mentors is literally better then ever before.

There is a youtube video on the channel TridentLion which elaborates, in-depth, on the concept of virtual mentorship. So definitely check that video here “Attain your Virtual Mentor” Video of course after reading this. 🙂

When you’re looking for a great & effective virtual mentor, look for a highly successful individual in your chosen niche, to influence you in the most beneficial way possible.

For example, if your ambition is to be a comedian & you have kids. Then find a successful comedian with content online (social, blogs, interviews, etc…) whom you can learn from, and if you had kids, find a comedian with kids.

Find mentors specifically, narrow them down to individuals whom are successful doing what you ant to do & who also had and/or have a similar lifestyle to you. By doing this you will learn more relevant content, like the example of finding a comedian virtual mentor with kids. A comedian without kids would be harder to relate to because he will have a completely different lifestyle.


“You are the average of the 5 people whom you allow to influence you the most.”

Choose your virtual mentor wisely and choose effectively. Pretend you are drafting life coaches, and these life coaches are going to help you achieve greatness. Choose the best coaches for you. Make your team stacked!!!

Of course, we all don’t have the luxury and capability to have mentors on call, but with the Internet now, you are no longer stuck with the people around you doing the primary if not all of the influencing.

Now, the goals should be to achieve self-awareness.

Realize what you’re great at, & what you love more than anything. Capitalize on your strengths & outsource your weakness, if possible.

Find successful figures online that you identify with as successful. Ask yourself who in the world could provide the most value for me through their teachings, practices, habits, ideas, rituals, etc. Which can be found online.

Establish who would be in your dream mastermind, who would you love to learn from. Then consume their content from the perspective of a student and a mentee. Learn, learn, learn, learn, & learn.

More importantly… WATCH what they do and how they do it.

You want what you learn to stay in your mind.

So learn through applied knowledge, take action, do what they do when it’s valuable for you & never give up on building the life of your dreams.


Roars to you,


Always be learning, always be creating, & always be inspired!


Youtube – TridentLion


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